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Make Yourself Happy - even if by Yourself!
be stirring her coffee and looked up: “I really don’t know what I want.” She looked tired.
She would like to know why she, among all the high achievers, is still finding her days dragging. She makes the money, she has lots of clients and her schedule is full. Yet, she feels drained.
“There is something in me that keep wanting my attention, but what?” She almost screamed.
“You know what it is,” I said, confidently. “All of us really know what we want to do but we keep pushing it away.”
“But I don’t,” she gave up.
So, we continued to talk about her other stuff - her sales, her clients, her work, about her travel. Then, we were quiet for a while, as if an angel just crossed in front of us, as many of us like to say as a passing remark. Suddenly, both of us just stop talking, trying to find a subject.
Abe took a sip of her coffee, and then her face brightened up. She almost spilled her coffee. Excitedly she exclaimed: “Singing!”
You see? We all know what we truly want to do.
I thought to myself.
“You know what? I have always like to sing,” she flushed but only for a while. Then, like a deflated balloon, she sighed: “I used to sing with a group of friends, but jobs, marriage and family got in the way, and no one wants to sing anymore. So, gradually, our group split.”
“So, what’s wrong singing all by yourself?” I suggested.
Many of us have this tendency of wanting others to join us in our happiness. Instead of wanting happiness for yourself, you want others to revel in your pleasure as well. You think that if they are happy, so you are happy.
(Read more: Be You, 100%)
Eventually, when everyone begins to find their happiness elsewhere, in their relationship, in their family and in their job, they leave you. Then, what do you do? You give up on the one thing that you do, which you do best and at your happiest. In Abe’s case, it is singing.
“But how can I sing alone?” Abe was lost.
“Why not?” I tried to encourage her. “You can just pick up a microphone at home, and sing your heart's out. Dance to your tune, sing to your heart’s content. Then, your happy energy will start to attract people, new friends, who would want to sing too. You will never know - next week, next month, you will suddenly get to know a group of new friends who would want to do the same. That is because when you start the ball rolling, for yourself, this “singing” energy will be transmitted, just like the radio wave, and hit some people who shares the same joy - in singing.”
What's wrong with eating out on your own? What's wrong with going to the gym alone? What's the matter going for an audition all by yourself? If you feel threatened or feel uncomfortable doing things that make you happy, even if doing it alone, you should find out the reasons why you feel this emotional backlash on yourself. Why are you denying your own happiness?
This is a
you can practice to increase joy in your life:
Whatever it takes.
Do YOU, for goodness sake, not do it on others or for others.