Have you desperately tried to get someone to understand you and failed?
Are you telling them what you really want them to know?
Is your heart open during communication?
“In the holy instant the condition of love is met, for minds are joined without the body’s interference, and where there is communication there is peace. ... you will realize that to sacrifice the body is to sacrifice nothing, and communication, which must be of the mind, cannot be sacrificed.” ~ A Course In Miracles T-15.XI.7.
Zaza looked distraught. She has been married for less than a year and she is complaining that her husband does not understand her.
“Did you tell him exactly how you have told me?” I wanted her to be clear. She needed to tell her husband what it was and how she felt.
“I can’t tell him anything. Even if I do, he does not understand me.” She sighed.
Before we came to this juncture, I have already explained to Zaza that if we put emphasis towards taking care of the “body”, we will lose sight of the intrinsic needs of the spirit.
Everyone is crying out for love, for understanding and for acknowledgement. These wants cannot be fulfilled through satisfying the needs of the “body”, because the body, however it is satisfied (making the body slimmer, clothe the body, feeding the body etc), will one day die. (Non-attachment to the body, however, is not about neglecting either.)
The spirit, the eternal mind, is the energy that will live on. Therefore, communication is the path to enliven the spirit. Active participation, care to listen and open-heart response to all conversations are the key to bonding relationships.
“So, what do you want him to understand you?” I suggested. “Do you want him to understand that you like to travel, you like to do it alone? Do you want him to let you attend the dancing class?” I continued with some examples.
Suddenly, Zaza cut in and exclaimed, “Nothing ...!”
“I want to let him know I want to do nothing.” That is good, she is getting it.
Doing nothing is great, why not? We are constantly being told that we must do, do, do. How about doing nothing for a while?
“So, is it that difficult to tell him that you feel you don’t want to do anything for say 10 minutes? 1 hour? 1 day?” Actually, what’s wrong by speaking your mind and say that you really need a rest for 30 minutes? 1 day? Just do nothing. Even if you are a mother of four children. Are you considered yourself a bad mother if you take a rest and do nothing for 30 minutes?
Zaza leapt from her seat, “Yes, that is what I want to do for myself, I want to do nothing this Sunday. If he wants to play his golf, I will wish him well and he can have his whole Sunday with his friends.”
The answer to all relationship problems is that we are too concern taking care of “bodies”. It is time to take heed of the spirit’s evolution to finding its own freedom. When two minds are joined in love, it is the universal language of acceptance.
A New Thought to practice daily:
Tell them what you want.
Open your heart to listen.
Open your heart to respond.
Open your heart to communicate.